Raising Filipino Boys 101

Parents, especially Fathers, don't you wish there's a course such as "Raising Filipino Boys 101" in any university or college somewhere near? I'm wondering how many of us have felt clueless, at one time or another, about our role as parents, or as fathers, in raising boys.

Father and son, one Sunday morning at the
University of the Philippines Diliman grounds

Some of us may have simply handed on to our kids the things we have learned from our parents. But then, others may have found themselves simply learning the new tricks of the "trade" along the way. The rest, most likely, are still groping in the dark.

Either way, I hope many of us have discovered that father-son relationships are the most special in the world of parenting. Yet there doesn't seem to be a lot of literature covering this subject.

So, for now, let me resort to poems and songs.

A poem in the internet caught my attention one day. It's entitled The Little Chap Who Follows Me!. The first stanza of this poem goes as follows ...

A careful man I want to be;
A little fellow follows me.
I do not dare to go astray
For fear he'll go the self same way.

Then the poem ended as follows ...

I must remember as I go
Through summer's sun and winter's snow,
I'm building for the years to be;
The little chap who follows me.

Poems, songs and stories  around fathers and sons abound. The poem I just described is one of them. Have you clicked on the title of the poem above? The poem says it all, doesn't it? Can you relate with it? Does the feeling resonate?

Here's another one that I still can't forget, even decades after this was first released. This refrain is from the song Coward of the County by Kenny Rogers:

Promise me, son, not to do the things I've done.
Walk away from trouble if you can.
It won't mean your weak if you turn the other cheek.
I hope you're old enough to understand:
Son, you don't have to fight to be a man.

The persona of that part is the father.

Then, in the same song, the persona of the second refrain shifts to the son. It goes...

I promised you, dad, not to do the things you've done.
I walk away from trouble when I can.
Now please don't think I'm weak, I didn't turn the other cheek,
And Papa, I sure hope you understand:
Sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man.

Wonderful conversation between father and son, isn't it?

When you're 40 years old, it's cool to be touched by these things. After all, there's a whole 20 years behind us after college graduation. Wisdom softens our hearts and makes us wish for profound things that can give meaning to the next 20 years ... most especially when you're now a Father ... doesn't it?

What's fatherhood to you?


P.S. If you have a story or wisdom to share, no matter how lengthy, please email me at marvin@coachmarvin.com. Other parents and children out there may benefit big time from what you will be sharing.