"8 Things I Learned as a Father" by Anton Diaz

Anton Diaz is one of the most passionate fathers I have met, and one of those most willing to share their learnings to others. Frankly, he's one of those who are supporting me--morally and technically--in going ahead with this blog site, RaisingFilipinoBoys.com. Most people know Anton Diaz as the man behind OurAwesomePlanet.com and as one of the most successful internet marketers in the Philippines. This time, we'll see the other side of Anton Diaz, his fatherhood.
-Marvin

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Anton Diaz the Father, with Kids Aidan and Joshua"][/caption]

Being a Father of 3, I'm starting to appreciate the celebration of Father's Day. As I reflect on the last 4+ years of raising two boys and expecting a new baby, I would like to share with you the 8 Things I learned as a Father:

1. There is an urgent need to raise Filipino Boys as Men and not as “Mama’s Boys”.

I’m concerned about what seems to be the degradation of Filipino Men in terms of moral character and standing up for what they believe in. It usually starts in the family, where the boys don’t have a good role model in their fathers. Also, most Filipino boys don’t get “initiated” into the world of men with proper mentoring from their dads. As I raise my two boys, I recognize that this is becoming an important issue that needs to be addressed as they move from Toddler years to their Teens.

What do you think we need to do to raise Filipino Boys to become Honorable Men?

2. Spanking does not solve disciplinary issues with toddlers.

I tried to use the belt to correct Aidan’s misbehaviors, and I only got hurt stares from the little boy. I realized early on that this was not the right way to raise kids – but this was the way I was raised. The better strategy is to set rules with your toddler and agree on consequences upfront. The key is to execute the agreed upon consequences for your toddler to honor the rules.

3. Parents should prepare for the “second child syndrome”.

I thought I’d never get into the “second child syndrome” with Joshua. We took fewer photos and we’re more conservative with him in terms of bringing him out. The level of excitement with having kids seems to diminish when one already has a toddler and a baby at home. The focus is usually on the struggle to keep up with the two versus making sure they both get to have the best childhood possible. Recognizing it is the first step in addressing it.

4. The school itself does not matter; it’s the quality of teachers and network of students that are the most important things to consider.

I believe that all schools have the best intentions for our children. The key question is: Can the school’s teachers translate that intention into an actual experience? Teachers leave clues if the school is good or not. You can investigate by interviewing the parents and teachers themselves. Personal recommendation from parents is very important. One of those schools that take care of their teachers and understand their value is Explorations School in Mandaluyong.

5. Kids misbehave when they want to get attention and when they are bored

When your kids behave badly, don’t react with a loud voice or resort to physical abuse. The best response is to understand where it is coming from. To be proactive about it, give your kids your undivided attention before they ask for it. Attention span with today’s kids is really an issue. Devise ways on how to keep them entertained or how to make them sit still for a longer period of time. Let me know if you figure it out already.

6. Even if you have children, the wife is the first priority and then the kids.

Because of the excitement over becoming a father and the enthusiasm of having a baby to take care of, sometimes you neglect your wife. Your wife’s needs are more important than your kids’. Some strategies would be to ensure that your wife has a day off from the kids, that she eats well, and that she gets a lot of rest, especially before romantic occasions.

7. Boys naturally clench their fists aggressively. Don’t react to it; understand it.

When boys are provoked, they clench their fists and are always ready to fight. We don’t watch TV, so I don’t know where my son got this behavior. I guess the answer is in the male hormones? I’m still trying to understand it.

8. It really is a magical moment when your child brings you into his world

If you ask your child to tell you a story about how his/her day went or what happened in school, normally, you only get a blank stare or are ignored. The trick is for you to wait for those magical moments when they begin to open up and share their world with you. With Aidan, this happens usually before we go to sleep.

As for you, what’s your experience with fatherhood? What do you think we need to do to raise Filipino Boys to become Honorable Men?

Live an Awesome Life,


Anton Diaz
www.OurAwesomePlanet.com

- - -

Thanks Anton for sharing your wisdom with us. May you be blessed abundantly as a father and as a benevolent internet marketing maven.

We welcome sharings from other fathers out there who may have a thing or two for other Dads who, like them, are raising Filipino boys into Godly, manly and entrepreneurial generation of Filipino men. Just email your stories, lessons or insights to marvin@coachmarvin.com.

May your son model on you rightly.


Marvin
RaisingFilipinoBoys.com