When Your Father Cries

Fathers out there may find it uncomfortable reading this post. I understand.

No father wants to cry, much less be seen crying, especially by his children. Among children, I guess no one wants to see their father cry.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="317" caption="A father cries holding the clothes of his child. Photo from http://www.daylife.com/photo/0fNrfsrfKw7ke"][/caption]

But truth be told, it does happen. Believe it or not. A father cries. You have been warned, so be prepared.

Why does that happen and what do you do when that happens?

I saw a forum on the question "does your parent (mother or father) cries (sic) in front of you? what (sic) do u feel?" at pinoyexchange.com, a recent blog by masterwordsmith, and an entry by hamster_bong at everything2.com.

They're all worth reading.

In my experience and observations, a father cries not so much because a father feels sad. A father cries because of a sense of failure (a daughter elopes with someone, a beloved son engages in unacceptable behavior, etc.) or because of losing someone very precious to something or someone beyond his power to control (a daughter marries, or someone dies, etc).

By saying ... a father "cries" ... I mean the " loud utterance of an emotion, such as fear, anger, or despair" (thefreedictionary.com)

Can you think of any other reason outside of those two I mentioned? A father may simply shed tears for the rest of the emotion-wrenching moments, but I can't think at the moment of reasons that a father should cry, other than those two I mentioned.

I don't see many movies when you see a father cry. But I saw the king of Rohan (Lord of the Rings) cry when he realized his son was dead, after the spell on him was cast away.

Those who watched the cartoon movie Prince of Egypt would have seen Moses cry after leaving his brother, the Pharaoh, grieving over the remains of his son.

Lastly, I once saw a movie of Dolphy wailing loudly in the Church, after his three daughters, who were wed to their fiances all at the same time, said "I do."

What do you do when you see a father cry? Because I haven't seen my own father cry, I can't say for sure. But theoretically at least, I would simply be silent and stay in the moment without saying anything.

If you have to say or do anything at all, let it be a message of love and support for your father. A father seldom cries, and when he does, it's a moment of great vulnerability for him. Let him cry and don't do or say anything that may suggest he should feel guilty or embarrassed.

Your father's a human being too. He too needs to release intense emotions that have built up inside him. It's a sacred moment. Don't leave the room. Just be present for him, even without uttering a single word. Drop that magazine and put your phone on silent mode.

When your father is done crying, say, "I love you, Dad! We're here for you." You think you can do that?

Now, do you have something to share? stories to tell? questions to ask? Please don't hesitate to go to the comment box below, type them in and click "Submit."

May your son model on you rightly.

Daddily yours,

Marvin

RaisingFilipinoBoys.com