Emotionally, Men and Boys Are Like Electric Submarines

Electric submarines run on batteries. They need to surface to recharge. Men are like that. Deal with it.

Men keep their emotions private, by design of nature. It's the way we're made. We're like electric submarines that surface from time to time to recharge, and dive again to the deep for months.

My son didn't want me to leave home one day and just sat beside me as shown. Actually, he didn't let go of Daddy for a few minutes. My wife saw what was happening and took this shot.

One Saturday at 3pm, I arrived home unannounced. My 6-year old son saw me from the window. He yelled "hurray" and ran to the door to meet me.

He said, "miss kita Daddy!" Then he said he was pleasantly surprised to see me come home way before dark. I usually came home late in the evening, sometimes when he was already asleep.

I embraced my little boy back. His joy resonated in my heart. Then we sat down together to watch Kung Fu Panda, talking about Master Chi Fu, Poh and Tai Long, and laughing a lot. It's amazing how even the most die-hard macho drinking colleagues would find such father and son stories charming.

Men don't usually talk lengthily about family stories, but stories like that make us stop and stare and introspect. A comment or two goes out to affirm or acknowledge it, then we resume discussion about politics, business or sports.

It's not that we don't like family topics. Men are simply not designed to munch over beer matters of the heart. A word or two about love can sustain us for months or years.

We're like electric submarines in our own oceans. We surface to recharge and off we go again, to the deep oceans of business, politics, sports, etc. 

Some men surface more frequently than others. Most surface and get themselves exposed very infrequently.

A lot of men are operating on low emotional batteries, and have become so accustomed to it. In fact, some are choking and they don't know it. They're out of air and dying, and they still don't have a clue.

That is precisely why I acknowledge and validate the feelings of my son every time he expresses it, whether it's about joy, or anger.

When this little chap begins adulthood, he will soon be operating like a submarine in his own ocean. From time to time he will surface to recharge. I want him to do that well.

Recharging is a delicate procedure for men. Terrifying in fact for some. At this stage men feel very vulnerable. Fear can overcome them such that many prefer the comfort of the deep even with low batteries.


I'm training my son how to surface and recharge. After all, I too surface and recharge every time I embrace him.