Speaking the Love Language of Physical Touch

Among Asians, I think Filipinos are most expressive in terms of physical touch. That can be debatable, depending on whose perspective you take.

Anyhow, take a look!

Physical Touch is about hugging and kissing family and friends. Among women, that usually means a lot of "beso beso." Among men, that can mean a lot of high fives, low fives, round-house fives, etc. We see this all the time, with slight variations depending on the region of origin.

In the seminars I attend in Manila, I keep on hearing this story about babies in one side of a ward that are more sickly than those on the other side. All conditions in both sides were the same, and so the hospital was completely baffled. That was until one day they installed cameras in the wards.

From the cameras, they found what seemed to them was the only tangible difference between the two wards: the janitress. The janitress assigned in the "healthy" side of the ward regularly picked up the babies to hold them in her arms, one at a time, especially when the babies cried.

I found that story amazing. Was the janitress supposed to do that in the first place? Wasn't she fired after being caught in the camera? The story didn't say. But the babies she held were healthier than those on the other side who were left to cry til they got tired.

Well, I personally heard of a story from one network marketing upline. In one visit, this upline held the cheeks of this downline, looked at him on the face and said, "You can do it!"

That downline later on excelled in his network marketing business and told the crowd that it all began when this upline held his face tightly he couldn't breath. His belief in himself surged because of that touch. Amazing story.

I am a "physical touch" person myself. I love kissing and embracing my wife and kids each morning and each evening. I can't leave home or go to bed without doing those. I don't feel that a moment's complete until I am able to kiss and embrace them.

To be touchy can be really annoying to someone who does not share that love language. Good thing my wife reads "The Five Love Languages" too. She understands. But that's not her main love language, which I also understand. We're unique. That makes marriage fun and thrilling.

My one-year old daughter seems to share with me that love language. When I approach her, and she knows I am about to embrace her, she moves her forehead towards me, waiting for me to kiss her. (Yeah, I usually kiss my kids on top of their head. Strange, eh? But that's me.)

Be careful about dealing with people whose love language is physical touch. Let's assume Mildred's love language is physical touch.

1. Robert, whose love language is Words of Affirmation, can easily find Mildred too "maarte" (if anyone can give me the English translation of that word, I'd appreciate it);
2. Nimfa, whose love language is Receiving Gifts, may find Mildred close but not quite. I mean, Mildred's hug is inspiring it's close, but . . . hey, where's the cash?
3. Terence, whose love language is Quality Time, may find Mildred a bit "hard to get." Terence would describe Mildred as nice and touchy . . . so near, yet so far.
4. Gina, whose love language is Acts of Service, may find Mildred very sweet indeed, but a bit indifferent. Yes the hug is nice, but could Mildred please help her carry the groceries?
   

To someone whose love language is physical touch, the following may help identify the other languages:

1. When Robert says, "Hi!" with a smile, you say "Hi!" and you see satisfaction in his face, well, chances are, Robert's love language is Words of Affirmation. No need to hug him there.
   
2. When you notice that Nimfa loves to give gifts, big or small, chances are, it would help if after hugging her you give her something as well. When you promise to give her something, better keep that promise.
   
3. When after hugging Terence he wants you to drink coffee with him or show you around and hang out with you, chances are this guy is a Quality Time guy.
4. When after hugging Gina, she asks you to sit down and offer you coffee, chances are, her love language is Acts of Service.
   

Those are my crude attempts to decipher human beings.

See how they work for you.

RELATED ARTICLES:

• The Five Love Languages of Parenting
• The Love Language of Acts of Service
• The Love Language of Receiving Gifts
• The Love Language of Quality Time
• The Love Language of Words of Affirmation