Speaking the Love Language of Receiving Gifts

Receiving Gifts. What a very conspicuous love language. It is also the most readily misunderstood. I have realized that now.

You see, receiving Gifts is not my love language. Nor is it my son's. But it is the love language of my wife, whom I love very much.

Receiving Gifts as a love language requires something material. That's the "bad" news. But that material thing does not have to be expensive. That's the "good" news. But then make no mistake about it: it must be sincerely given the way love ought to be expressed.

I think the Gospel explained this point very well:

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on." (Mark 12:43-44 NIV)

A material thing, given without love, has no "meat" in it. It's like giving the icing of the cake, but withholding the cake. A material thing has value only when the receiver perceives that it is a part of you that you give unconditionally. That's the spirit of Receiving Gifts.

People whose love language is Receiving Gifts also has the keen smell of your intentions. So, don't be casual about it.

How do we recognize Receiving Gifts people?

It is fairly easy to identify someone whose love language is Receiving Gifts: you see that person giving gifts to people a lot. We have lots of people like that in our neighborhood in the Philippines. These people give as a habit, big things or small things.

How do people of other love languages deal with Receiving Gifts people?

I speak for Words of Affirmation people. I think people like us are the first ones who goes crazy with Receiving Gifts people. I speak from experience.

Perhaps for the sheer reason that Receiving Gifts is not my primary love language, I survive without much of these material things. In fact, I sometimes forget that a gift after a Christmas party is still in my bag after weeks! That behavior makes my wife crazy.

If fact, my wife has gone ballistic about it one day. She now checks my bag periodically for any forgotten gift that may be lurking in there, untouched, unnoticed, unappreciated.

I have learned a lot from my wife. It is indeed painful not to appreciate a gift. Now I know how to say, "Thank You" much more sincerely, AND at least think of giving back something in return. That is a tough act to make for a stingy person like me.

But it was worth it. I mean, we climb mountains, reach for the moon and gather the stars in the name of love, right? Why not buy chocolates, or peach mango pie, or coconut shake on the way home?

Get the picture?

To people whose love language is Quality Time, I think you can relate well with Receiving Gifts. Just bring the person you love with you when you by something for him or her.

You may find that, as you enjoy being with your loved one as you buy something in the mall or in the jewelery or in a restaurant, you also see the bright face of your loved one as he/she appreciates your gift. I think that would make a very lovely combination.

Just be conscious that it is ultimately what he/she gets or holds on to that completes the message of love that you wish to convey. You enjoy the time, he/she enjoys the gift.

To people whose love language is Acts of Service, I also think you can relate well with Receiving Gifts. As you enjoy doing the service of buying something for your loved one, he/she enjoys the fact that you're getting for him/her the coffee, or the shake or the banana split in the exact color and taste he/she envisioned. I think that's lovely.

Just be conscious that just as you relish the fact that you're doing something for your loved one, it is your mindfulness of the brand of chocolate that she wants that completes your message of love.

To people whose love language is Physical Touch, hmmm, let me think. Stop that touching and get him/her something! The person whose love language is Receiving Gifts will reciprocate your hugs and kisses, but get something that stays with her after you hug her. Get the picture?

You can see that in the movies sometimes. A man puts a necklace on the woman's neck before embracing her. Or a man caresses a woman's hands before inserting the ring. Or a woman hugs her man and inserts some cash on his breast pocket.

To conclude, we all love gifts, right? Some of us appreciate gifts by honoring a person's generosity with thanks. But some of us appreciate gifts by feeling loved, down to the core. Let's appreciate the diversity of creation God has laid down before us, and honor it by being aware of our own uniqueness.

I am certainly blessed to have married someone whose love language is Receiving Gifts. It's like marrying someone from another planet, but I feel very complete.

RELATED ARTICLES:

• The Five Love Languages of Parenting
• The Love Language of Acts of Service
• The Love Language of Physical Touch
• The Love Language of Quality Time
• The Love Language of Words of Affirmation