Is Fatherhood Worth Celebrating?

Father's Day is way past this year, but a post with the same title as mine examines Father's Day and gives advise on fatherhood.

The post was written by a woman. Now, something in her post bothered me a lot (emphases mine):

BEING a father is not easy, it is one of the biggest tasks any man looks up to. Recently, the world celebrated Father's Day to honour and celebrate fatherhood, paternal bonds, and their influence in the society. It complements the Mother's Day. But are men really worth celebrating?

One would wonder why men should be celebrated because when compared to women, many believe that men are not as valuable xxx Also, every woman wants a man she can be emotionally attached to, someone who shares her commitment as a partner and who will not place his career above the family life; most men do not fit into this picture.

Source: www.modernghana.com

My adrenaline shot up. The questions in my mind were:

• Who believe that "men are not as valuable" than women? I'd like to see names and faces.
• Who are taking it into their own hands to paint the picture of an "ideal man" and then make a judgement that "most men do not fit into this picture"?

I didn't know much about Ghana where the article was written. But, hey, the sentiments shared by the author were no different from those written by women in other parts of the world! That struck me as absolutely alarming.

Could there be Filipinas writing that way too about their husbands? Sana naman, wala. But I could not guarantee that. I know some wives who are completely dissatisfied with their husbands, and vice-versa! It takes two to tango, or so we say.


But here's the thing: while we continue to celebrate Mother's Day and appreciate our mothers, society must be conscious about upholding fatherhood also! We have gender laws that are pro-mothers and anti-fathers. Some writers are unconsciously emasculating fathers, by treating fathers in general like people needing a flood of help, when in fact these writers are colored by the biases brought by gender advocates who, especially recently, want to "domesticate" men and turn them into anything very similar to women! That's fatal to the way human beings are designed!

From where I grow up, and in the circles that I have contacts with, I see the opposite of what the writer is saying. These are what I see:

• Fathers are valuable, very valuable. This entire blog is about this point. Please stay tuned.
• Fathers are capable of sharing commitment with the wife in parenting. Yes, but it's not a joy ride. It involves a common dream, a common struggle, and a common reward. 

These did not come from me, but from the testimonies of wives and kids.

Yes, the expectations on men as fathers are awesome. But what do we, parents and society in general, do to prepare our boys for responsible fatherhood roles? Then, how much appreciation do we show to men the moment they live up to the expectations?

Those are questions that both men and women, as husbands and wives, must answer together.

Lambasting fathers with third person abandon does not accomplish anything.

But there's one law in the universe that's true in any area of life: what gets rewarded gets done.