The Love Language of Acts of Service

The so called "Acts of Service" is one of the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The person with that love language will appreciate love more when you do something for him or her, like mixing coffee in the morning, iron clothes, open doors for him/her, buy groceries for him/her, etc.

I grew up washing clothes of my elder brothers, scrubbing the floor at home, etc. I hated those days, but lived through it for as long as I did it only for my family. So, when someone acted as if he wanted me to serve him, resentment would set in. You would hear me mumble, "who do you think you are? you lucky {tot-tot-tot-tot}!" Or among Filipinos one might say, "ano ka? sinuswerte?"

Little did I know that because of that attitude, I locked myself out of a segment of the population who would put their lives on the line for me. You see, when some people around you do something for you, they're actually saying something! It will be sad to blind ourselves from that truth.

I know one person whose love language is Acts of Service. One rainy night he saw me fixing my car engine outside his home. He took out a large umbrella and lent me a coat. I found his act an ultra-nice gesture, but I thought I should not be a bother to him. I saw that he went out into the rain for me and that picture didn't look right to me.

I was not very appreciative then. I said No Thanks and closed the engine cover to wait it out until the rain would stop. I saw pain in his face. That struck me and haunted me. This was clearly before I read Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. He must have felt that I rejected his gesture. That guy was my protective elder brother.

Another person close to my heart with the Acts of Service language is my son. Although Acts of Service is secondary to him (his primary his Quality Time), I still had to deal with that part of his love language.

One Saturnday morning, I was leaving to do service in a Gawad Kalinga site. He knew the sun was up and the day was hot. For around three times he reminded me to bring water with me. I was already at the gate when he asked me one more time if I was sure that I didn't need to bring a bottle of water.

At this time, I already read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and quickly realized he was expressing love. Words of Affirmation wouldn't work best with him, nor would physical touch. I was at a lose of what to say or do, until I found myself mumbling something like I would play with him in the afternoon (quality time) and massage his hands again before going to sleep (acts of service).

Love is all around, isn't it? But it comes in many colors.

RELATED ARTICLES:

• The Five Love Languages of Parenting
• The Love Language of Receiving Gifts
• The Love Language of Physical Touch
• The Love Language of Quality Time
• The Love Language of Words of Affirmation